Sunday, July 10, 2011

Just part of it...

This is night 3 that I have not been able to sleep well.  I lay in bed and try to clear my mind from the events of this past Friday night, but it just won't go away.  I can recall every text message, every phone call from Friday night.  I can see his face just drop when I tell him that one of his collegues didn't make it.  My heart starts racing and I think... "What if he hadn't taken off work?"  He would have been all over that call because that's just the type of guy he is.

Yeah we might have arguments over stupid stuff, like toilet paper, but if I wouldn't want to have those stupid arguments with anyone else but him.  He's been with the department for over 3 years, does being a police wife get any easier?   

Tomorrow he goes back to work.  Tomorrow I will watch him play with our girls.  Tomorrow I will watch him put on that vest, that uniform, and that gun belt.  I will kiss him goodbye and tell him I love him, and me & the girls will watch him pull out of the driveway.  Tomorrow will be different though...Tomorrow I will wonder will I see him again?  Will I hear him come in at 3 o'clock in the morning?  Will I hear him take off that loud vest?  Will I feel him crawl in bed with me?

So tomorrow night before I shut my eyes, I will say this prayer, as well as the next night, and the night after that for as long as my husband is a cop. 

Dear God as I ready myself for a night of rest
take care of my police officer he's the best.
Watch over him as he works the streets,
With danger and and violence surrounding his beat
I pray every night he's able to come home,
because I don't want to grow old all alone.
I know I married for better or worse,
But some days God, his job is a curse.
So please hear my prayers, Dear God this night,
Because I am a police officers wife.

1 comment:

  1. Amy... Praying for you two and the BMT PD. Such a sad sad situation!! All wives worry ....I know I do and I'm just a postal wife....knowing Sam will be out all day in this nutty world....all it takes is one crazy mad customer or fellow disgruntled employee, someone driving too fast when he's crossing the street, etc etc etc....I could go on and on with the different worries that run through my mind. Really all we can do is Pray and LOVE them all we can. ENJOY every moment and let the little things go. and as a daughter that lost my father so so early in life I was 20 and he was day is promised for anyone! LOVE LOVE LOVE and PRAY PRAY PRAY :)
    Do you all have a officers wife support group? surely being around other woman that live through the same thing day after day could help. Anyway, just wanted you to know that you aren't alone and what Chris and other officers do each day and night is soooo appreciated!!